Still Struggling With Balance
Where do you stand?
When do you take a stand?
This guy in Missouri has gone too far.
http://www.theledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070421/NEWS/704210394/1021/LIFE05
But, then again, I think Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, goes too far too.
So, where do you draw the line (or should you even consider a line)?
If a church asks its youth workers to hold to Biblical standards of conduct in an effort to set a positive yet REAL example for its young people, is that too far? Is it far enough? What if they ask their workers not to attend rated R movies? Or go to the local casino? Or drink an adult beverage with dinner while out in town? or in their home? Or purchase/read an adult magazine while filling up at the gas station?
You see, some of these are way over the edge and would never be addressed Biblically, because the temptation wasn't there. Albeit the sin took place in the mind, there just weren't as many places for it to fester or manifest itself into reality back in Bible times. So now we have all these options...choices. And we have GRACE and Freedom in Christ...not liscence, but freedom. But I'm not talking about me...that's easy.
The real question is...How does one who is responsible for choosing leaders...a board member, a youth pastor, a deacon...set standards for choosing leaders.
The disciples were not permitted to go out from Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit entered into them...they were told to stay put (pretty legalistic if you ask me - read sarcasm). This was done for the overall benefit of the program. So, when we choose leaders in church...or teachers at a Christian School...or Nursery workers...how do you set standards without coming across as a legalist?
Maybe God never intended Christian organizations to get this large. If it's so big that you just don't know, or can't TELL, then maybe it's too big (just thinking while I write).
You see, I've been great with following rules as set by organizations. If there's no gum chewing, then I'm not terribly rebellious...I don't chew gum. But the problem now is...
I'm in authority. I, with the help of others, am being asked to help set the rules...the standard of conduct...for those who work with children...
...and I'm struggling.
posted by Hollywood at 1:08 PM
6 Comments:
Actually, the answer to your first two questions is pretty straightforward:
You speak boldly and with authority to those areas where the Bible speaks boldly and with authority. Conversely, you remain silent where the Bible remains silent.
You'd be amazed at how that plays out--so, for example, in your "standards of conduct" questions, you wouldn't have to make any rules or regulations regarding any of them.
See, a believer who works with young people might be unwise in going to an "R" rated movie or casino or having a glass of wine (at home or out of town)--although the adult magazine to me is another category altogether (don't see how anyone could justify THAT). But, Hollywood, all that is unwise is not sin (think of coffee or smoking or eating McDonald's pseudofood).
The idea is that you should allow the Holy Spirit to work in people's hearts and minds and trust that they're growing in Him. That's how people grow up.
So, for example, going to a casino is not sin. And let's say they head in there one night and win $150 at blackjack. They had fun. So they go again, and lose $75. They go again, and lose $50. They go again and lose $25. They should realize that the odds are against them and they'll most likely lose money and probably won't go after losing 3 of 4--even though they "broke even" financially. And, you didn't even have to make a rule, and they grew in wisdom and understanding.
The only standards you have to set in choosing leaders is found in 1 Timothy and Titus. Any additions would be legalism. And if they measure up, you won't have too many troubles in the gray areas. Those'll take care of themselves, even if you hit a few speedbumps along the way.
7:38 AM
But because my issue involves children, there should be "standards of conduct", particularly if this is a private organization.
So you speak boldly with an adult magazine found in a backpack, but not repeated visits to the casino...that seems a tad inconsistent...and really leaves the organization VERY exposed...I don't think it's that simple.
11:36 AM
It really is that simple, Hollywood.
And I fail to see how that leaves anyone "exposed"--private organization or not. Your organization is the Body of Christ, which uses God's standards as the bottom line.
So, for example, going to a casino is different than picking up an "adult" magazine. A casino (or dog track or horse track) could be done as entertainment. Granted, there are wiser ways to get entertained, but it COULD be done without sin. Now, an adult magazine--if a guy picked one up as "art" he'd go to lust pretty quickly. So, that's where I draw a distinction. The casino-goer might be unwise. The magazine reader is in sin.
And I'm not sure what you mean by an organization being "exposed." Each one of those kids has a parent who is the ultimate responsibility before God. So, if the youth pastor has long hair and tattoos, and the kid uses that argument to try to get what they want, the parent has Scriptural authority to serve and love their child above and beyond that. So, the organization's leaders are always second, third, or even fourth fiddle.
Maybe if you explained that a bit more...
5:32 AM
You uncovered the real problem. We have parents who are abdicating authority to youth leaders, nursery workers, teachers, etc. Society accepts this too. If a teacher says "I only smoke when I drink and my tatoo was from a binge in Panama City"...and the student says "Mr. Skynyrd is the coolest, have you seen his tat, and I noticed his smokes above the visor in his car, and he's a regular at Porkeys on Friday night...isn't that cool?"
All I'm saying is that Mr. Skynyrd has every right in society to do these things and teach at a public high school, or work at the library...and responsible parents will work around these issues.
But let's say he signs up to work with Juniors in the youth group because one of your students says "He's the coolest teacher at FLOMO." And you meet him for coffee to get to know him as he's new to your church, and he has a testimony (He's raised his hand and prayed and that's about it)...but he lights up and asks if you want to join him at Porkys Friday night? Does he get the keys to the Junior Class Boys? Why? or Why not?
1:03 PM
Well, if he "lights up" a cigarette, that's no biggie to me. I don't have a problem with that anymore than I do with someone who dips snuff or drinks coffee. Again, all that is unwise is not sin.
And the tattoo thing...irrelevant.
And, if he goes to Porky's on Fridays (and my recollection of that movie is that they went to that bar for sexual pleasure specifically--but I'm not for sure), then he's disqualified based on 1 Timothy and Titus. He's also a "new convert" and there are several reasons I won't use Mr. Skynyrd...but Scripture defines those.
But, if he goes with his buddies to Fox & Hound on Friday nights to throw darts, grab some hot wings and maybe (or maybe not) has a beer...well, he's okay by me.
Again, that lets the Bible speak boldly and with authority and is silent on the other stuff.
And, just because the parents have "abdicated" their responsibility to others does NOT give us the freedom to assume said responsibility. They are responsible before the Lord for their actions. That doesn't mean I won't serve, it just means that I don't have that responsibility to parent. My job is to walk alongside, teach, equip & help the body mature...not to take over for negligence.
9:24 AM
mmmm, wings....
5:11 PM
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