A private matter...

Just clearing my brain...

I'm very concerned for someone close to me...a family member who lives in the same town. The behavior she's expressing is nothing new, but as she ages it becomes more polarizing and she seems to care less about the damage left in the wake.

You see, she's very critical, gossipy, and frankly at times will just plain make things up to embellish whatever story she's spinning at the moment. I found myself in the car with this person for a long trip the other day and I decided to call her on it. I just asked her...

"Why all the negativity? Why do you feel so compelled to run others down verbally?"

Of course she said..."like how?"

So I gave several examples from the previous week and she didn't respond. So I took the opening to give my theory...I think you are very unhappy and running others down, and focusing on the negative side of others makes you feel better...and that's very unhealthy.

I proceeded to share the Gospel with her, and told her that the Love of Jesus can replace her pain. Then I gave her some positive things in her life to focus on, and an example of a mutual acquaintance, another family member, we both know well who has a very similar personal history, who knows Jesus and has been able to not only experience Joy and peace, but now serves him willingly in amazing ways.

All this fell on deaf ears.

Not only that, but now she's going on the offensive. Our second conversation in four days went like this...

"I don't even want to be around you or your family if I have to walk on egg shells and think about every little thing I say."

To which I replied...

"You know, I am so not concerned with your behavior. I only get concerned when you say hurtful things to my family or about my children in front of them. My main concern is that you may spend etternity in Hell and I didn't do an effective job of warning you."

"I am NOT going to Hell!"

"Do you believe in Jesus as your Savior."

"Yes I do believe in Jesus."

"Then why all the missery and negativity?"

"I'm sorry if I can't measure up to your standards, and if things in my life make me sad...that's just the way I am."

"I'm very sorry you are choosing to alienate yourself from my family. I'll be fine...I'm a big boy and I'm ok if you drive a wedge in our relationship...but my children won't understand why their (older relative) won't come around any more. And all I can tell them is their (older relative) doesn't want to be nice, so she's choosing not to come around."

This whole issue breaks my heart.

However, the flesh in me is looking forward to the break from the havok.